Your Path, Your Intentionally Rolled Ball
When one of your brothers is a physicist, you are constantly reminded of the teachings of his old pal Newton, and his laws of physics, the first being: an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an external force. In simpler terms, your ball keeps rolling until something stops it. A visual I often picture is: my life as ball on one long, winding, cross-country road that sees many seasons and landscapes, and sometimes even hills and forks—yet onward it continues to roll. Recently, I paused, my ball in suspension, as I asked myself a real ass question: "Is this path the right one for me?" It was a "wait a second now” moment. A “where the fuck am I going?” moment. A “oh shit, am I supposed to feel scared? Is this right???” moment.
It happens. It's easy to get caught up in the momentum and let life's ball roll without active steering. We chase goals, build careers, and navigate relationships, but are we consciously choosing the direction of our paths? Or are we simply reacting to this world and its forces, letting external things dictate our path? On the ther hand, if we have been proactively managing this path, how can we know our choices have been the right ones thus far? Are the decisions we’re making now in line with what we want from life? Am I where I want to be? Am I becoming the person I envision? The best way to check yourself is to check in with the parts of you that hold the goals. The truth is, your ball hasn't rolled to this point by accident. You've made choices, pushed, and readjusted. You've done what you could to choose yourself, even if you didn't realize it. That's our best power. That’s personal agency. And that’s the foundation for self-actualization.
Sometimes our paths feel off. Maybe your life-ball has been nudged askew by misguided voices, or maybe comfort has become a detour. It happens, but noticing a deviation from your intention means it’s time for a change. That's when we need to have those difficult conversations with ourselves. The self-talk that’s loaded with tough questions. If you find yourself sitting wondering if this is what an existential crisis feels like, know that it’s successfully combatted by allowing yourself to let all the little voices talk it out. The big questions are: What are you willing to sacrifice? What do you want?
It should be no shock or surprise that success has a price tag. It's not just about the accolades; it's about the dedication, the commitment, and the willingness to step outside your comfort zone. Keeping your ball on course is a long-term promise to choose yourself. Are you willing to do it for you? If your ball is rolling smoothly, fantastic. Keep pushing, keep sacrificing for the vision you hold. But if you feel like your ball is being kicked around by unseen forces, it's time to adjust. Here’s my shortlist of tips for course correction:
Inventory Your Control: Make a list of everything you can control. Start with easy answers. Continue to add to your list, even when you swear there is nothing left to add. You'll be surprised how long it is.
Challenge Complacency: Ask yourself, "Am I staying here because I'm forced, or because it's comfortable?" Comfort is a great thing for stress management, but when graduated to complacency, it becomes a terrible death for personal growth. What do you simply allow?
Define Change: What does moving away from your current situation look like? What small changes can you make today? Tomorrow?
Seek Trusted Guidance: If you need directions, ask those who truly know you and your goals. Be honest and transparent. Talk to people on similar paths or people who have watched you develop your goals in the past.
Remember, you are the director of this whole thang. Do not allow life circumstances to keep you from opting for change when the direction feels off. Stop and ask for directions if you need to, from your circle of trusted life-advisors, whoever they may be. For me, it’s a handful of besties, my parents, my business advisors, and more seasoned designers.
While I don’t know the man, I’m thankful for Saweetie’s father reiterating an important mantra: "You wanted this life, you knew what it cost." You wanted the dream, the vision, the best version of yourself. What are you willing to sacrifice to make it a reality? May your ball of energy remain on the right track, and may you have the courage to steer it with intention, grace, and a whole lot of self-love.
You wanted it, so what are you willing to do for it?
-m
Related tracks for musical self-therapy:
Best, by Saweetie: “You wanted this life; you knew what it cost.”
Questions to ask:
Is this what you want?
Is this where you want to go?
Is this who you want to be?
Is this what you want to be known for?
What are my goals? Am I contributing to them, or detracting from them?
What does change look like?
What is one thing different in the daily schedule that could change that could get me closer to the correct path?
What is the smallest sacrifice that I can make right now?
What decision do you feel like others are making, but you’re actually complacent about it?
What are you doing to not help this situation change?
What’s the most extreme way to change what you’re doing? And the most subtle?
Are you still in this path because others are forcing you, or is it because it is comfortable?